ding dong bell sick
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
on mc today. thanks to a miss fadillah who passed me her ulcer(if it was possible. hehe), i not only contracted her ulcer but my ding dong bells or wat u wld call tonsils in medical terms, got infected n inflammed. to make it short, half of my throat is in bad condition and d shouting at 4H yesterday, on top of the chilli crab n black pepper prawn which my dear fiance' cooked 4 me (which i swallowed down blissfully, making me temporarily forget abt the pain), just made d poor ding dong bell worse.
well..why was i shouting at 4H yesterday? Let me just say, i re-lived my mad woman moments for a few minutes there after i realised that these kids were definitely not taking me seriously. hate to admit it but i think motherhood coupled with the heart-wrenching (yet beautiful) experience of teaching 4g last yr (or 5a dis yr) has made me a softie. yup, wen i blow my temper n my circuit fuses, i noe i make their balls shrink (if i could crudely put it dat way). No one wants to say a thing. but i hate the aftermath of a storm coz dats wen i get all softie wen it comes to PEP talks. masuk bab 'care n concern' je...abis.kalau lose control je...image ke mana, 'cool'nya ke mana. n all dis is coming from someone who once sneered wen she heard stories abt tchrs breaking dwn in class. ah tulah farhana.. takabbur lagi. hah amik kau!weak ah lu babe.tskx3...
but having said all dat, i recall the first day i met 4g 2004 or 3g back then.i wus a bit late n found myself standing outside 3g singing d national anthem. n when i wus standing der, i remebered those boys all excited n saying." Eh, chioubux2 ah." i bet it came from louis, dalston, andra & company.n those months followed with funny 'crush letters' n even student stalkers. It was flattering no doubt but as time went by, i realised that that was not d image i wished to uphold. My journey with 4G was a heart-wrenching one but as mastercard best puts it, it was priceless.I laughed with them, i screamed at them, i joked (n was also d joke), i nagged, i cried with them, i scolded them and i gave them detention like nobody's business(although i knew it would get me nothing close to appreciation but more of hate. basically, i did all d things unbecoming of a 'chioubu'. but it didn't bother me one bit. coz i knew that most importantly, i did one thing that i would never regret. I loved them.
I asked Dalston in feb this year how wus English n d new teacher. he replied that d teacher was funny, young n happening n fun (like me. haha!).i was glad to hear dat. but he said something which caught my ear. "But Ms Farah, u have something she doesn't.You've got heart."
Forget about being a chioubu coz now i have an even better title. a title which Eng Rong Qiang used to playfully call out, a title which Andra Ho faithfully calls me up till today even after he has left Dunman,: Mother.
It may sound old to many young teachers or silly to some others, but to me, though i've never told em this, its an honour.
so wen siti told me 2 weeks ago wen we conducted d napfa test for d kids n both of us were in charge of the shuttle run station,dat she found it funny seeing me going barefooted n running here n there n cheering for the kids with d stop watch in hand(as she sat glued to her seat taking down the timing from the stopwatch), a clashing contrast to the chioubu image of high heels and poised walks, i didn't feel bad at all. in fact, it actually felt good.coz i'ld cast my heels, my walk, i'ld cast all image aside (oklah, maybe not all. as long as i still look presentable. i'm vain n u all noe it. :P ),as long as i noe, i did it out of love.
n i'ld do it again for my students or who i would fondly call my children.n rite now, my fear, my concern n my worry is for those 39 children of mine in 4H.In fact,come to think of it, i really don't mind if they don't realise this.as long as i know that at d end of it,i have done my duty as a teacher n a surrogate mother, to see them thru d year, make it through the 'N's n hopefully through d 'O's too.Dat is all i ask for.
haha! i just realised that i could have been blowing my own horn for the last hundred lines or so. but hey, dis is my blog. my say. rite? just got to reflecting abt my career which in fact is so much more than just a career to me. call it a haphazard or a nuisance coz d emotional attachment dat comes wif the profession is something that i can't help either. but hey, dat haphazard put simply as love, is something i believe completes the whole definition of a teacher.
p.s: if any of my 4H students read this, read it. forget it.
Just remember,I'm still a chioubu, not a mother. hehe :P
