I need life...
Friday, March 30, 2007
Sigh...what a way to start a blog entry. But that's how life has been. Or rather, what life? Dunman is sapping my life. sounds pathetic huh. Maybe its not that bad. i'm just exaggerating. you know me. :P
Tried to get into my friendster account after years of not going in. had to get new e-mail and all and the stupid thing just won't verify my e-mail add no matter how i try in various ways. So i couldn't reply any of those msgs. To Ayul and Diana, my cuzins, if you happen to stumble upon my blog, wanted to say i loved what u did to ur friendster pg. spoke of volumes of love.aww...cldn't reply ur msg. but am real happy to c how happy u guys are with your 2 lil princes. :)
coming to my 6th mth soon. baby dearest was real amusing just now. Was watching my indian dance kids rehearsing for SYF with the Indian music blasting and all. & suddenly he was so super active, kicking away like nobody's business. bet he was doing his own indian dance in there. With my inclination for prata with lots of curry, mummy's lil one better come out looking like some Hindustan hero okay? hehe.
Past has come back to haunt me and adina if i may add. thought i saw my past from the back at Vivo city a few days back. Didn't dare look back to verify. Just walked past. Didn't tell hubby either. didn't want him to get unnecessarily upset.
Don't know why but pregnancy makes me feel insecure. No matter how much hubby dearest reassures me with his love, ther's those moments when he has to be out at work late or go for those night jobs, those moments when old fears and insecurities start haunting me again. Today is one of those moments. I hate my past for having inflicted that onto me. but like what sunshine junior said, the past will not hurt you unless u allow it to by raking it up again. besides, i have 'past' to thank for making me the woman i am today.
I may have your daughter, but other than the trickling red substance, you are just a name to her because she already has a real father.
On a brighter note, susnhine jnr has been a devoted santarina sending me those love filled notes on a weekly affair. thank you my dear. those notes may be lil but they mean a lot to me :)
SYF begins next week. The pressure to produce for all 4 groups is mounting. :( n what i fear most is my modern dance. in short, i don't feel too hopeful looking at the way things are progressing. :( Setting of mid-yr papers is soon due. that means vetting for all the el and lit papers for sec1-3 will be coming in too. that's apart from the marking and the lessons missed coz of SYF. :(
God,give me strength to undertake these challenges to the utmost of my ability for without You, i am nothing.
Ok...a depressing entry signing off on a depressing note.
